FOSTERING A RESILIENT LIFE WHILE AGEING GRACEFULLY
The truth is that the desire to live a life of significance never ends, even in old age, and this is how to keep your mind and body going.
A successful retirement life is not without problems but, is one in which you learn to overcome them. It is important to acclimate to the many things that retirement may throw at you and to understand the role resilience plays in achieving this.
Resilience refers to the capability to adapt positively to stressful life events, trauma, or difficulties and grow from them. This implies two things: first, recognising techniques and resources to assist you in bouncing back when adversity strikes, and second, discovering the positive aspects of these stressors so that you can develop and learn from the challenges you face. If you can manage this, you will experience a more engaging and enriched life.
Resilience is the foundation of a successful retirement.
Resilience and ageing
Ageing has its challenges, as does every life stage. However, people can nurture their resilient capacity to cope with adversity, mitigate loss, and find continued happiness, personal growth, and purpose and meaning in the second part of life.
We know far more about disease, depression and decline than we know about human flourishing. We do know that people age differently. While some people thrive as they grow older despite many challenges, not everyone ages gracefully. Some are not as mobile and capable as before. Many find themselves alone instead of surrounded by peace and love.
Scientific evidence indicates that certain individual and environmental resources lead to greater resilience and guard against depression, morbidity, and emotional stress. These are referred to as “life strengths” and include:
Meaning and purpose (M in PERMA(F));
The helper’s high: the benefits of altruism ;
Realistic optimism;
Physical fitness (see my article about successful ageing); and
Brain fitness (see my article about successful ageing).
Some of the statements may sound like they are repeated over and over from previous articles, but this emphasises their importance. Many of these are intertwined throughout the philosophy of positive psychology. It also emphasises that one does not have to get hundreds of things right. By getting four or five principles right, you will go a long way to ensuring a successful retirement or second phase of life.
A life of meaning and purpose
This is the cornerstone of resilience and well-being. Lack of purpose is associated with depression, suicide and difficulty adjusting when faced with a trauma.
Irrespective of change, it is necessary that people have a clear sense that their lives are meaningful to ensure that they flourish. Meaning provides life with direction, and it infuses life with goals like:
Meeting basic needs;
Engaging in leisurely activities;
Developing and sustaining relationships;
Pursuing personal accomplishments; and
Contributing to the community.
Pursuing purposeful goals involves those that are attainable. Setting impossible or very challenging goals can cause decreased self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.
It is rare that the desire to live a life of significance ever ends, even in old age (Prof Klinger 1998).
The helper’s high: Altruism
Most people dream of a retirement where they play, pursue hobbies and flourish. They become the master of their own fate. When they reach retirement, they thrive. For others, their newfound sense of freedom is overwhelming. Some clients describe retirement as a trauma.
Many pre-retirees wrongly assume that what they will miss most in retirement is steady income, while most report that they miss social connection the most.
Work imbues our lives with meaning and purpose. Leaving work can feel traumatic if one does not have meaningful activities to engage in.
Science has discovered that being altruistic (being of service to others) provides the same benefits that many derive from work.
A Merrill Lynch survey showed that 85% of retirees who volunteer have developed new friendships and connected with others with similar interests and passions. Engaging in civic ventures contributes to psychological well-being.
Helping others provides one with a sense of meaning and that life matters, which in turn increases positive emotions (E in PERMA) and self-esteem. Altruism is associated with less depression and feelings of helplessness, which is particularly important to people entering retirement.
Being altruistic is good for our health and happiness. However, helpers must be in control over the activities to which they choose to volunteer (or give); they must not feel compelled, coerced or do so out of guilt.
Realistic optimism
Optimism is a belief in a hopeful future, a confident attitude that all will work out and an expectation that if I work hard enough and focus on the things that I can control, I will be successful.
Pessimism is a belief that the future is bleak. I lack the skills and abilities to deal with life’s challenges, and events are beyond my control, so why should I even try to influence these circumstances?
Optimists and pessimists have very different expectations and thoughts about the future, which translate into very different actions.
The silver lining is that optimism can be taught – there is hope for pessimists! This can be done by dissecting a concept called explanatory style, which I am not going to delve into here. I will provide more details about this concept on the Retire-with-me website once it is up and running.
Physical activity
Resilient ageing is not limited to how people respond to challenges as they age. It includes a lifestyle in which one practises health-promoting behaviour to guard against disease and cognitive decline. The resilient ager values and engages in physical exercise to ensure good health for as long as possible.
Exercise nurtures a stress-resistant brain that becomes less reactive to stress and recovers more quickly from stress responses over time.
The magic of exercise lies in its neuroprotective benefits; it counteracts stress, fosters brain growth, and supports brain health in two regions most affected by stress: the prefrontal cortex and the hippocampus.
When starting moderate exercise (aerobic), stress hormones surge. With time and increased fitness, stress hormones decrease because the body and brain become more efficient at handling and recovering from the exercise (the stressor). Scientists believe this process extends beyond the realm of exercise and also teaches the brain to handle mental and social challenges.
Brain fitness
Brains require regular exercise to stay “fit” – cognitive pursuits that provide mental stimulation. Research indicates that higher levels of education are associated with better cognitive functioning across the lifespan and reduce the risks of Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, multiple sclerosis and stroke.
A cornerstone of successful ageing is for us to remain mentally challenged and cognitively curious.
Engaging in cognitive activities like writing, attending lectures, and playing word games at least once weekly can help people develop cognitive reserve in midlife. These activities may provide even greater benefits to those with lower education and help with memory-related processes.
These positive effects also influence a person’s ability to engage in daily activities, including complex cognitive tasks that enable us to live independently and without assistance from others (e.g., paying bills, cooking, and taking medicine).
I hope that this article has inspired some to “get going”. Find out in your community if there are any action groups that cater to people with different interests. If there aren’t any, maybe it’s time for you to take the initiative and get the folk on a roll.
Happy retirement.
